Archive for December, 2007

Pit Stop

Click for a live image of The Pit.

Girl: The bible doesn’t approve of some things that you do. Don’t you own a polyester shirt?
Pit Preacher: Yea…well…ugh…THIS IS AMERICA!

Boy 1: Where does pastrami come from?
Boy 2: Not sure…
Girl: Yea…and where does corned beef come…oh.

By Rachel Scall


As the television writers’ strike continues and we, the viewers, watch our last new episodes of hospital dramas before being buried by a sea of re-runs, it’s no surprise that people are beginning to wonder where they will be able to turn for new, original entertainment.

Enter YouTube. Sure, YouTube has been around for a while now, but it always had to compete with…well, actual television. But with writers on strike and television production at stand-still, it is YouTube’s moment to shine. Now instead of turning on the TV every Tuesday at eight, Wednesday at ten, and Thursday at 9, viewers can feel free to turn to their computers any time of day.

Some may have their doubts about YouTube filling the void of their favorite TV shows, but there are so many videos — there’s a 10-minute-or-less clip for everyone. There are gay teenage boys gossiping about celebrities, homeless people playing instruments, bored college students brainstorming new ways to consume alcohol, or, the classic, people hurting themselves while trying to look cool — basically, everything you would find on national television… right?

OK, so maybe YouTube isn’t a perfect substitute for TV, but things could be worse. After all, if you don’t find something to watch, you can just make your own video, post it and watch that. Basically, television writers better make amends quickly, because YouTube is ready to step in.

By Rachel Scall

Happily ever after… in a few years

The current concerns in my life include finals, my complexion, the ever-daunting task of packing my belongings for winter break, and whether or not Dani is going to be kicked off of “A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila.” I like to think that this is the average list of a 20 year old college student. However, at lunch today, I found out I may be sorely mistaken. Somewhere between my pesto pizza and my dried out orange thyme chicken, the conversation topic took a disastrous turn: marriage.

Though initially in shock, a slide show of images promptly hurdled through my mind at the mention of the “m” word: a big diamond ring, two laughing, beautiful people reminiscent of a J. Crew catalog, and a white picket fence. Though horrifically stereotypical, the vision does have a sense of blissful stability about it. I mean, why not just marry the person you are dating when you graduate? You get a built-in opponent for chess, doubles partner for tennis, spotter for lifting, and knot-holder for wrapping presents all at once. Why go through life alone when you can be attached at the hip to someone as soon as you step into the real world?

Call me immature, close-minded, or bitter but marriage is just about the furthest thing from my thoughts. Sure, boys are cute. Some of them buy you flowers and take you on fancy dates. Some of them may even have good intentions, though these gems are few and far between on a college campus. However, at a time when you are supposed to be worrying about what to wear for your next cocktail, I fail to see the point in stressing about a life partner.

Let college change you in whatever way it can. Make a few poor life decisions, take a couple of naps on the quad, and love a few eccentric and fabulous people. I only ask that you do not make marriage a necessary next step post-graduation. And please, stop talking about it at Lenoir.

By Madeleine Clark

Please, anything but exams!

Exam week: a college student’s worst nightmare. Here are some tips to get you through the week without completely stressing out.

1. When you finally do decide to sit down and study, make sure you have everything you need or might need at hand. Getting up to find a notebook while you’re studying is just going to throw you off track.

2. Yes, it is important to cram as much information into your head as will fit, but remember that it is still important to take some study breaks. Don’t schedule your breaks — take them when you see that your attention span is waning.

3. Change up the scenery—spending an ENTIRE week in Davis is definitely not healthy.

4. Remember to sleep. If you’re pulling all-nighters, it will only be that much harder to pay attention to your exam.

5. Contrary to popular belief, exams are not the end of the world. You will make it through. Plus, once your done you barely need to think for the next month!

By Rachel Scall

Pit Stop

Click for a live image of The Pit.

Girl 1: It’s so hot, it freezes.
Girl 2: Yeah, I know what you mean. Wait, WHAT?!?

Boy: Are you going to the party too?
Girl: I wasn’t invited, but I can TOTALLY pee standing up.

Boy: Did she Facebook stalk me? Cuz that’s how everybody else knows me.

By Brittany Murphey