Category: Overheard in the Pit


Pit Stop

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Girl: I like Lenoir because of the M&M(R) cookies.
Boy: I think I like it because I was conceived there.

Girl 1: I’m so stressed out I have so many people coming into town this weekend.
Girl 2: For Parents’ Weekend?
Girl 1: Yeah, and I would need to hook up with like the whole team for that many tickets.
Girl 2: [awkwardly laughs]
Girl 1: I just don’t feel like it this week, maybe one or two of them but that’s probably not going to be enough.

Boy [tall, muscular, athletic, and alone]: Man… I lost my retainer.

By Madeleine Clark

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Pit Stop

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[In reference to the Pit Preacher]
Boy: He’s such a staunch conservative. I think the funniest story I heard about him was the one with the girl and the pants.
Girl: The girl and the pants?
Boy: Yah, you didn’t hear that one?
Girl: Um, no…
Boy: Haha, OK, well it happened at some other school. He was preaching about how girls are sinful and revealing when they wear pants, and if they don’t wear skirts they’ll go to hell. And right as he was saying this, a girl walked by – in pants of course. And he points at her and says, “Like that girl wearing pants. She’s going to hell!” And the girl goes, “Oh, I shouldn’t wear these?” And she takes off her pants and walks away to class.

By Erin Wiltgen

Pit Stop

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There’s a difference between like and love because I like my jewelry, but I love my black pants…

Girl 1: I hate thieves. I mean, you can never find a pair of kickass black pants.
Girl 2: Yeah, black pants are so in.
Girl 1: I mean all my jewelry was stolen, too, but I really loved those pants—they were canvas and from Express.
Girl 2: That is so sad.
Girl 1: You’re sad? I’m sad—I’ll never find black pants like that again.
Girl 2: So like your jewelry was stolen, too?
Girl 1: Yeah, and I’ve had it since I was like three. And some of it was like my grandmother’s. Good thing she’s dead, I’d be in so much trouble. And like I had a gold necklace, like real gold.
Girl 2: That’s so sad. Well I came up with a slogan finally. It’s ‘I heart Dune, You heart Dune—let’s Dune it,’ We can advertise it on our pants.
Girl 1: Yeah, like black pants.
Girl 2: Well once you find another pair.

Raindrops keep falling on my head…

Girl 1: Oh my god — it’s raining.
Girl 2: Why is it raining?
Girl 3: Because there’s a hurricane.
Girl 1: What’s a hurricane?
Girl 2: It’s like a really bad storm.
Girl 1: From where?
Girl 3: Hawaii.
Girl 2: No stupid, it’s like Katrina.
Girl 1: Who’s Katrina?

By Karen Kleimann

Pit Stop

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Boy 1: So when did you move in?
Girl: Last week, Joe and Ed lived there all summer but their old roommate moved out in June, so he just needed someone to take his place and split the rent, you know. It’s a pretty nice little house, except for the roaches… lot of roaches.
Boy 1: It’s closed Tony. (As a second Boy, presumably named Tony, enters the scene walking up to open the plate glass door at the bookstore entrance.)
Boy 2 (Tony): No, say it aint so!
Boy 1: It may still be open; they turned the lights off though.
Girl: Do you know Tony?
Boy 1: Yeah I think we met like last year, just real briefly.
Boy 2: Yeah like sometime last spring, it was real brief though.
Girl to Tony: So what have you been up to?
Boy 2: Not much, I’ve got to help guide that freshman camp tomorrow. Man I’m not gonna have time to come back then.
Girl: Oh well, it was good to see you.
Boy 1: Yeah good to meet you again man.
Girl: So I’m getting my tooth in Thursday.
Boy 1: You’re tooth in?
Girl: I’ve had a baby tooth since I was 14, well since I was baby, but when I was fourteen they took it out and file it down, and put it back in, I could only eat bread for a week. I get my real tooth, the tooth for the rest of my life on Thursday.
Boy 1: Cool.

By Fisher Coan

Confessions of a pit sitter

I figured I would take this opportunity to own up: it was I who said “I really need to start wearing my glasses so I can judge people,” as overheard in the April 2008 issue. Yes, I was overheard and exposed by the very magazine I write for.

Before anyone starts to believe that I really have been wearing my glasses more in order to pass judgment, know that that was most definitely a sarcastic comment, like most things I say. I guess everyone can learn from this—be careful what you say, Blue & White may be listening.

By Rachel Scall

Pit Stop

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Girl: Is that song from the 80’s?
Boy: Yeah I think so, like the band with the seagulls.
Girl: Seagulls? Like a song about birds?
Boy: No, like the band.
Girl: A band that has seagulls?
Boy: No, the band is called Flock of Seagulls.
Boy 2: Dude, that’s the 70’s.

Girl 1: So my English professor is really hot.
Girl 2: Like how hot?
Girl 1: Harry Potter hot.
Girl 2: Oh, like wizard hot.

Girl 1: How do you think y’all came into being?
Girl 2: I’m not sure, maybe God had something to do with it.
Girl 1: No I meant the phrase y’all, like did some farmer pick it up one day?
Girl 2: I don’t know but the farmer’s market has cool stuff.
Girl 1: Yeah like granola.

By Karen Kleimann

Pit Stop

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Girl 1: I’m making brownies tomorrow.
Girl 2: Hash brownies!?
Girl 1: No…
Girl 2: Oh, I just assumed.

Girl 1: What are you doing this afternoon?
Girl 2: Not much. Varun is picking me up later and driving me to Southpoint.
Girl 1: ‘Cause he’s your bitch?
Girl 2: Or it could be love, you dumbass.

Girl 1: Can I tell you a secret?
Girl 2: Sure.
Girl 1: I like to eat baby food

Girl 1: I was watching COPS the other day, and I realized people on that show are RIDICULOUS.
Girl 2: Yeah. Fighting cops in tube tops and barely any clothing.
Girl 1: Like, evolve, please.

Pit Stop

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Girl 1: I gave up dessert. You just made me break lent.
Girl 2: Ice cream isn’t dessert. It’s like… a palate cleanser.

Girl 1: Alex Stepheson just looked straight at me. I swear. Like we met eyes.
Girl 2: Omigosh. He’s so beautiful. Did it steal your soul forever?!
Girl 1: My soul will never be the same.

Guy 1: Dude. That guy just about ATE IT falling off his bike.
Guy 2: Man, I never get to see anything good happen.

Girl: I really need to start wearing my glasses so I can judge people.

By Amy Leonard

Pit Stop

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Girl 1: [Pulls out cigarette in front of Lenoir.]
Girl 1: I can’t find my lighter.
Girl 2: I wouldn’t smoke that here.
Girl 1: Seriously? Like what are they going to do? Stare me down with fiery eyes that will burn through my soul? (no kidding… she really said that…)
Girl 2: Well…. I guess at least then you could light your cigarette.

Girl 1: (in a dead monotone voice) I stayed up all night. And all morning. I saw light outside when I left Davis. Basically… I’m turning into a rooster.
Guy 1: I’m so tired. (Puts head on girl’s shoulder).
Girl 1: Your head is heavy.
Guy 1: That’s what she said.

Girl 1: So this guy I know just dropped out of class to go join Ron Paul because Ron’s just so cool. Like his tax policies are amazing, you know he just wants to take away the IRS…
Girl 2: Cool…
Girl 1: …and like he runs as a Republican but he’s really just the start of this whole new party and… (continues talking about Ron Paul and his amazingness for ten minutes.)
Girl 2: [Nods every once and a while.]
Random Guy: [Walks by with a Ron Paul sign.]
Girl 2: Hmm… who is Ron Paul… is he running for student body president?

By Anika Anand

Pit Stop

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Girl: The bible doesn’t approve of some things that you do. Don’t you own a polyester shirt?
Pit Preacher: Yea…well…ugh…THIS IS AMERICA!

Boy 1: Where does pastrami come from?
Boy 2: Not sure…
Girl: Yea…and where does corned beef come…oh.

By Rachel Scall