Girl (To her friend): When we get home, do you want to go stand by the toilet?

Girl: Man, I should really start wearing more underwear…

Boy: To this day, Airbud is still seriously the saddest movie that I’ve
ever seen.

Boy (to Pit Preacher as he is walking away): I love you!
Pit Preacher (turning around angrily and pointing at him): You don’t know what love is!

Ad on the television in the Union from Campus
Health Services:
“Chuck Norris’s tears can cure H1N1. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris never cries. Learn how to prevent the swine flu.”

-Brecken Branstrator

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