Tag Archive: swine flu


Why I love midterms

Midterms officially kicked into high gear this week, so I would like to take a moment and explain why I love them so freaking much:

  • Multiple hours of slaving away inside Davis Library. It’s industrious to know you’re studying in the same building where babies are made on the 8th floor.
  • Professors may deny their vanity over the course of the semester, but midterms unveil how vain they really are: They all try to one-up each other by scheduling as many midterms for you as possible in the same week. Sly dogs.
  • I lose sleep. The recommended amount is 7-9 hours a night, and I usually average 5-7. Midterms bring me down to 3-5 hours. But wait! This is a good thing! According to the economic law of marginal utility, the more you do something, the less satisfaction you receive from it, so less sleep = lower opportunity costs! Yay!
  • The amount of coffee consumption triples, due to all nighters and more studying on campus. I (sarcastically) told a friend a few weeks ago that I wanted to pick up a coffee habit, so… mission accomplished.
  • You have a greater chance of getting sick, since your mind and body are stressed so much. We have a pretty exciting epidemic to catch this year. A good “swine flu” story is so much more badass than an “I got a cold” story.
  • There’s very little space to study on campus. I especially love this, because I can then spend multiple hours wandering from Davis to the UL to Graham Memorial in an attempt to find an open study spot. From Graham Memorial, I often go to the Union. If the Union is full (it usually is), I’ll try to find an open classroom. But if it’s after 9, the buildings are locked. At this point, I check the Caribou Coffee on Franklin Street, but all the tables are taken there, too. Thus, I must cross the street and enter my nemesis, Starbucks, looking for an empty chair. Of course, there is none. I wander back onto campus, this time into Hanes Art Center, but I don’t know why I bother; there’s hardly any study room in this building, and oh yeah, it’s locked. So I get in my car and drive back to my apartment and go to sleep. Studying is exhausting.

-Sonya Chudgar

Overheard in the Pit

Girl (To her friend): When we get home, do you want to go stand by the toilet?

Girl: Man, I should really start wearing more underwear…

Boy: To this day, Airbud is still seriously the saddest movie that I’ve
ever seen.

Boy (to Pit Preacher as he is walking away): I love you!
Pit Preacher (turning around angrily and pointing at him): You don’t know what love is!

Ad on the television in the Union from Campus
Health Services:
“Chuck Norris’s tears can cure H1N1. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris never cries. Learn how to prevent the swine flu.”

-Brecken Branstrator