I was raised in a household where using improper grammar was a sin. My mother, as much as I love her, would threaten my brother and me with quite harsh punishments if we ever considered responding to “How are you?” with “I’m good” as opposed to “I’m well.”

She instilled the fundamentals of grammar so greatly that “ain’t” was a swear word. This was rather tormenting on little Anna’s ego. My peers giggled feverishly when I was sent to time-out in second grade for spreading the rumor that my teacher had cursed in front of our innocent minds. I have yet to forgive my mom for that and the whole Santa Claus thing (but, that’s for another time).

Now, I am a sophomore in college and am perfectly free of my mother’s restraints, therefore, my vocabulary have taken quite the downfall.  So, here is my confession…

I, the girl who used to own an ‘I heart grammar’ lunch box, have been contaminated.  I’m ashamed to admit that I speak in abbrevs on the regs.  For those who are clearly too sophisticated to understand what this means, allow me to translate: I speak like a Valley Girl on crack.  Apparently, I am too indolent to correctly articulate the last few syllables of fairly lengthy words, so I replace them with an “s” and call it a day.

Six months ago, I was clean. I vehemently judged those who thought it was “presh” to never finish their words. But, now I am one of them. It all started when I felt the need to imitate those who speak in abbrevs (typically of the female population) by adopting their lingo, therefore, obvi, totes and mos defs became part of my everyday language. And, now I can’t stop.

Speaking in abbrevs is as contagious as herpes.  It catches on like wildfire. The epidemic spread to me, its No. 1 hater, and now I watch my friends falling in the same inescapable pattern.  The more I talk in abbrevs, the more they do in return, and the cycle persists.

But I have come to realize that you cannot take yourself, or whatever that you say, too seriously. Talking in abbrevs is entertaining. It’s amusing to strand as many contractions together as possible such as my ultimate favorite: Whatevs, she’s totes, fo sho jeals because she obvi can’t speak in abbrevs on the regs as ridic as I can.  Or in layman’s terms: Whatever, she’s totally, for sure jealous because she obviously can’t speak in abbreviations on the regular as ridiculous as I can.

I’m no longer the one judging as I’m the one who’s now being judged, and I’m okay with that.  My mother, on the other hand, has yet to realize the humor of speaking in abbrevs.  Instead, she is highly skeptical of the type of college education I am receiving. But, speaking in abbrevs is just a trend as we’ll all have to grow up sometime. So Mom, don’t you worry. I’m honestly not as ridic as I sound.

Guide on How to Props use Abbrevs in the 21st Century

Totes – Totally (No, I’m not talking about the handbag; this is a very popular phrase.)

Props – Properly (This is not used a lot, yet.)

Prob or Probs – Probably (This is one of the first to start the trend.)

Maybs – Maybe (It’s not really an abbreviation, instead it just sounds cool.)

Fo Sho – For Sure (This is used a lot in hip-hop / rap songs because it’s really catchy.)

Obvi – Obviously (Thanks to “Gossip Girl” this is very popular.)

Mos Defs – Most Definitely (Also the name of a rapper; this is used on a daily basis.)

Regs – Regular (It’s a fairly new abbreviation.)

Fave of Faves – Favorite (Possibly the abbreviation to start it all.)

Whatevs – Whatever (This is another older abbreviation that’s been around for awhile.)

Whenevs – Whenever (An adaption of whatever.)

Jeals – Jealous (A personal fave.)

Presh – Precious (I absolutely hate this one, but it still is somewhat common.)

A Pro Pro – Appropriate (A fairly recent addition to the abbrevs family.)

In a Pro Pro – Inappropriate (This complements nicely with the above abbreviation.)

As per ushe – As per usual (To fully get your point across, extend the “u” sound.)

Vom – Vomit (I don’t see the point in this one; Vomit is already such a short word anyways.)

Naus – Nauseous (This isn’t used as much right now, but I’m afraid it will catch on soon.)

Ridic – Ridiculous (I lied, this one is my ultimate fave.)

Perf – Perfect (Another abbreviation that is one of the standard abbreviations.)

Pops – Popular (Okay, I’ll admit that this isn’t well known because I recently made it up.)

Techno – Technically (I made this one up too; don’t judge.)

By Anna Feagan